Last Friday marked 8 weeks in my pregnancy-I can not tell you what a huge relief it is to get past this point. On Wednesday of last week I had my first prenatal appointment and ultrasound. I'm so glad I scheduled it early because I was so anxious! I dropped the kids off at Maria's and chatted for a bit and then went to the clinic. I could hardly stand it and to top it off our midwife Sherrie was at the hospital for a c-section. I was assured I would be her first patient and she would be back soon.
In the last post, about the roses and pruning, I had mentioned that I’d purchased five new rose bushes. Caleb had remarked there being one for each of us. Oddly enough, there are three smaller ones in between the two larger ones. I had mentioned that the two larger ones were "blooming out of control" and I have to tell you, that couldn't be closer to the truth.
I knew I should have patience with Caleb but I didn't know how to tell him what I felt needed to be said. Somehow that night after Casey died it just came to me, my eyes flooded with tears and emotions compounding on top of one another I began to type away tediously on my little iPhone, huddled under the covers hoping not to wake Caleb. It felt good to get it out and complete in written form unlike my jumbled attempts to speak my thoughts. I read it to Caleb two days later, Fathers day after hand writing out on the back of a collage I had put together of Judah's ultrasound and a photo of Caleb and I a week after we learned we were expecting.
For those who have lost an unborn child the most logical response it seems would be to have another child. Rarely it seems, do couples, refuse not to continue their dream of having a family. Most who are able to maintain hope know that they can never replace the child lost, nor do they intend that to be the outcome, but they do desire to have a child they can hold.
Hi, I'm Sharon
...and these are my adventures as a mom, as a musician, and as a writer using my creative abilities to navigate this life. It is my hope that in some way my life is an encouragement to you. Come join me as I strive to embrace contentment and gratitude amidst this busy, exhausting and wonderful life.