 | This is one of my favorite photos of our two oldest boys. When Caleb used to work closer he would come home for lunch, driving his big utility truck. I love how the boys wait excitedly for Caleb to return home everyday. To them Caleb is their hero, he's tall and strong, he builds things, uses power tools, and drives trucks and other machinery-he is everything they want to be and they idolize him. Just the other day Joseph was even singing the words to a country song "I've been watching you, Dad ain't that cool, I'm your buckaroo I want to be like you, eat all my food and grow as strong as you are..." |
More often than not they wait in the house looking out the front window anxiously. Every now and then they'll ask me why he's taking so long and ask if I can call him and tell him to hurry up. Sometimes if I run out to get groceries or have coffee with a friend I get to see the view from outside as well-their eager faces smiling and waving behind the glass excited to see me-it truly is precious.
Caleb had been so excited when I told him we'd be expecting a fourth child, I mean really, you should have seen his face. While I wasn't ready to say anything he was ready to tell the world. I often wonder if his unwillingness to discuss having anymore children stemmed from the disappointment of losing Judah after how excited he had been. My heart hurt for Caleb and one of the things I wanted most was for Judah to know how amazing his father was. I don't know what it's like to be sitting at the feet of God first hand, it's even weird to think that one of our children is already and I'm sure the last thing on their minds is to think of us down here. But Caleb is such a great father, he works so hard for his family and I want Judah to know that. Your dad is such a great guy, he's really cool, and he loves you so much, just wait till you meet Him!
Pardon my theology lesson here, but I can't stand it when people talk of those who have left this earth as angels. Suddenly they're gone and they have a halo and wings? This just isn't true. While we're on that note let me also say that angels aren't these chubby little cherubs either. Angels as described in the bible are majestic beings, strong and powerful, guarding, protecting, and delivering messages often with the precursory phrase "fear not." I don't know what it's like in heaven but I'm sure it must be wonderful. I don't know what Judah is like in heaven either, but I believe he is everything God intended him to be when He first created him. I picture him shy and cautious, hiding behind one of the angels, guiding him with a gentle nudge of it's mighty wings toward the feet of Jesus. In the same way that I tell the boys daddy will soon be home and to be on the lookout, I picture Jesus gently beckoning Judah, "Come, I know your father, he's working hard to provide for your family-wait with me, let us watch through the windows of heaven for your dad to come home with your family, they won't be long and they will be excited to see us waving and welcoming them home" I know that's what it must be like, for that is how Judah's brothers wait with me everyday, looking out the window and anxiously awaiting for Caleb to come home. Though sad to have lost something dear, it is exciting to think of Judah waiting anxiously with Jesus in heaven, watching us, as we do our best to follow Christ here on earth.
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